why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
