lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
