Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
