imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize