i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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