Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Randomize
