Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
