Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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