Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Just took my morning after pill in the library
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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