please come you make the beer taste better
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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