I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
