I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
