well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
