so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
should my penis look like a turkey
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Randomize
