I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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