Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Randomize
