do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
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