i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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