i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize