And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Ladies don't puke and tell
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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