before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
