There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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