i permit you to call me
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Randomize
