Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Umm I'm too high to move.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
did i just pee glitter
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
