dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
