16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Semen is not good for contacts.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I did not marry a roomba.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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