We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
