yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
