You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
i was born a porn star she said
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
