I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize