singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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