I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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