First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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