Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
