it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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