I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
My life is pants optional.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize