is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
