just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
