Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
