Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
He's a Shit stain on my heart
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
