You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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