so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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