I just made out with a guy for $7.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
