Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
She announced her abortion via fbk
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
