i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
