You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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