She announced her abortion via fbk
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
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