margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
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