I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
