just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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