I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
