We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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