oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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