I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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