He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize