You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Mom said you looked used
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
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